harmonyfriends | endos do interact

NOTE: Originally posted November 28, 2023.

every now and then fucking tumblr recommends us a random post that happens to come with "endos dni" "fuck endos" tags on it even when the post has nothing to do with that and it is always so infuriating every time.

to those who don't know what that means because they aren't a terminally online plural system, "endo" is short for "endogenic system", which means any plural system that isn't formed by trauma — basically, these people think there's only one correct way to be plural and are bigoted towards people with other experiences.

and god damn it fucking pisses me off so much every fucking time. it's such an ugly exclusionary thing, and while I'm inclined to give some forgiveness because, to be frank, like most DNI bullshit, it's mostly kids, it still riles me up. you hate the idea of non-traumagenic plurality so much you have to remind people of it on everything you post? jesus.

I think part of the reason it bothers me is that I wonder how people can even be so sure about what their system origin is in the first place. traumagenic plurality is about severe childhood trauma happening so early that it was before your sense of self could properly integrate (which is usually around 8 or 9 years old iirc?) — so early that, from our perspective, it's impossible to know who we would have turned out to be otherwise.

plurality is a complex interaction between neurodivergence and environment… we actually disagree, within the harmony friends, about whether or not changing those events would have caused us to turn out not plural or not. this one writing this believes us to be traumagenic in nature. but I have nothing against the friends in here that believe we would have been plural no matter what. in fact I kinda find something a little romantic to the notion… even though I don't find it very realistic, myself.

anyway if I have any advice or whatever it's this: don't let your origin define you. you are so much more than your childhood trauma (or lack thereof, if you're lucky) — you're who you are now, and that's amazing and beautiful; you've got nothing to prove to anyone, and especially have no mandate to broadcast your trauma history to strangers in order to be accepted for yourselves.

—👻Fate