"midlife crisis"…
Sep. 17th, 2024 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
harmonyfriendsNOTE: Originally posted April 4, 2023.
I've been thinking of the last few years as a midlife crisis, and, well, I think there's little doubt that's true in terms of raw time; my health's not exactly great. But, now we're at least halfway through the crisis and it's becoming clear that my brain's leaving behind being the stunted child our abuse had kept us as, and starting its actual life for the very first time. So it's more of a start-life crisis, if you will.
It's pretty thrilling, realizing that you hadn't really properly "grown up" yet and now knowing that the old box you were stuck in was just prologue, that there's a fresh canvas stretching out before you. Fucking scary as hell, too, learning more and more to face the rigors and stresses of a Normal Adult Life™ without breaking down, and knowing that this is what you've gotta keep up for the rest of your life… but it's so much preferable to not being able to do it at all.
(But I do gotta say, I'm now intensely not looking forward to our actual midlife crisis, which, at this rate, will probably happen just a decade before I die. Fuck.)
