had a memory…

[harmonyfriends]

NOTE: Originally posted July 9, 2023.

I was trying to embrace the positive aspects of my plurality at about nine years old through the medium of film and my mom called it "not good enough acting; I could barely tell you two apart" and because it wasn't acting, all I was was devastated and I never tried to be myselves again until now.

And, like, or course it wasn't good acting, it wasn't acting and I was 9. It was a little kid and his Pikachu beanie baby (who was being projected into by his caretaker alter) trying to host an entirely unscripted talk show on the family camcorder.

But,

any decent parent should be nothing but proud and encouraging of their kid for being so creative and inventive. My mom, however, is Mrs. Criticism and was mostly interested in it in terms of how it made her look as a parent, so my dreams were crushed.

In two more years I had decided to "grow out" of my plushies and "imaginary friends" and then I started getting violent with myself and splitting fragments left and right and my DID grew much, much further out of control than it would have if my self-love hadn't been discouraged like that.

If we don't support kids' creativity, inventiveness, benign quirks and neurodivergence, there are doomed to be more people like me, having to spend years picking up decades of moments of arrestment of development while their brain keeps screaming "NO Shut Up NONE OF THIS IS REAL".