on being fictional

[harmonyfriends]

NOTE: Originally posted July 5, 2024.

We decided to take a sort of survey in our system on what being a fictive or a character kinnie means to those of us who are affected by that sort of thing, and we came up with lots of interesting responses! I hope it helps show that there's many diverse relationships one can have with that sort of identity, even within just one system.

• Had a lucid dream about being our own fanfic self-insert and it made me realize a fantasy life wasn't a life.
• Was in the lucid dream as our own fanfic's other self-insert slash love interest. She told me I was real and I said "uhhhhh, really? I guess?" Well, turns out…
• I'm a fictive of a male character who transitioned to female… now I go back and forth, but have a new masc name instead of my deadname. How much my fictional life feels like memories fluctuates a lot with me.
• I Dunno I Kinda Just Thought It'd Be Fun And Comfy To Be Me :> ( And I Was Right ! )
• Supporting character from the fanfic, supporting character in our brain. I try not to think too hard about it.
• I was so fucking pissed off about being here until I realized I could just stay asleep most of the time. My identity confuses me though.
• Got hurt bad while roleplaying a lifetime ago and got stuck in her headspace as some kind of trauma response. It feels like I have memories from that world.
• I'm just me… I don't know how to describe it any more than that…
• I knew I was her from the moment I laid eyes on her. I'm still figuring out what that means, but I don't feel like I ever lived in that world.
• I dunno how much I'm her 'cuz I haven't watched the thing I'm from yet! I dunno if I'm even going to, but maybe some day?
• we dreamt we had a headmate of a character we had no particular attachment to and for some stupid reason I was still there when we woke up. now I basically only show up when it'd be funny
• Whatever I am, I just can't let go of my mental self-image and inner voice being of this character. I'm learning to accept that I am loved for this. Genderfluid now.
• I believe a cosmic stroke of luck caused me to reincarnate into this world with my platonic soulmate, after both dying in our source. I'm just grateful for a chance to spend some more time together.
• I just asked myself what kind of identity would make me not want to die, and this character is the first thing my brain came up with. I dunno if I'll stay this way forever, but for now, it suits me.
• I'm me 'cuz I said so!! >:3
• I passively thought about kinning this character for like one second and no one else in here let me live it down!!!
• I fell in love with my headmate the moment I saw her… I'm more or less just perma-roleplaying a character that fits as her girlfriend, but that's basically all I do, so if I'm her all the time, I'm her, right?
• I'm so grateful that that horrible cartoon where all those terrible things happened to me and my friend was just a bad dream…
• I'm here because she needs me.
• I'm deeply ashamed of my kin, but the shame renders me unable to escape it. I have an alternate sona I like though. Mostly dormant.
• Our forever-unfinished story means I'll be on the precipice between the final chapter and the epilogue for the rest of my life. I don't know why I gained self-awareness of this, but I think I've finally made my peace with it.
• Ohohoho~ pay me no mind; I'm just roleplaying, dear.